An Executive Coach for Women Already Working at the Next Level
Private executive coaching for senior women who already do next-level work and keep getting passed over for it. A six- or twelve-month engagement with Cherie Silas, an International Coaching Federation Master Certified Coach, billed to you, so your boss and HR stay out of it.
Who This Engagement Is For
You got the raise again. Your review says you are doing great work. And the promotion went to someone else, with a sentence attached: you don’t come across as a leader yet. I’m Cherie Silas, and I’m an executive coach for women in that spot.
Already Working One Level Up
The women I work with are already doing the job one level up. What they lack is being seen there, and a way to get seen that doesn’t require turning into someone they don’t respect.
Senior Managers to Vice Presidents
Most of the women I coach are senior managers who want a director role, or directors and vice presidents aiming for the level above. They are in their 30s, 40s or 50s, and they work in every kind of industry.
Often One of a Few
Often they are one of a few women in the leadership group, competing with men who get the benefit of the doubt before they open their mouths. Later in a career, age gets added to gender, and the fight to move up or move on gets harder.
What they want is easy to say and hard to get. They want to be seen at the level they actually work at, as smart and as capable as the men around them.
They want their team to say “she’s a great boss,” their peers to say “she makes good decisions,” and their boss to say “I want you as my succession plan.”
In Her Words
What I hear, in one form or another, from almost every woman who calls me:
- “I work as hard as anyone here, and it doesn’t matter what I do. I can’t get promoted.”
- “I want to walk into a room and have people know I’m in charge.”
- “I don’t want them to assume I’m the one taking notes.”
- “My boss keeps telling me I need executive presence, and I don’t know what that means.”
Why You Keep Getting Passed Over
Here is the arithmetic I see again and again. A man is assumed to be working at level six. A woman has to work at level nine to be seen at level six.
So she works harder, makes everything perfect and tries to be everything to everyone. It still doesn’t get her the promotion, because the people deciding it are not grading effort.
The Work Speaks, and Someone Else Presents It
Most of my clients don’t want to announce their own work. They want people to notice it.
Where does the credit go?
So they do the work and wait, and meanwhile someone else presents it, and the credit goes with the presentation. In meetings it looks like this: she makes a point, the room moves on, and ten minutes later a man says the same thing and everyone calls it a great idea.
Decisive for Him, Emotional for Her
A man who is direct, pushes back and gets angry about a missed deadline is called decisive. A woman who does the same is called emotional.
What happens when she softens?
Many women respond by softening. They stay warm and careful, they make sure everyone feels heard, and they work hard not to come across as harsh. Their teams love it. The people deciding the promotion often read it as someone who isn’t ready to lead.
The Coffee Cups, the Notes and the Salary
Watch who clears the coffee cups after a meeting, who sets out the water, who offers to take notes. Those jobs need doing, but in a room of senior peers the person who quietly takes them on gets placed a little lower, and it is usually a woman being helpful.
How does it show up in pay?
And it shows in money: when I ask a woman what salary she wants, I usually hear the lowest number she would accept.
A Bar That Moves Every Time
Some women do everything right by the book. They ask the boss what it takes to get promoted, deliver it, and then hear about the next requirement. The bar moves every time.
That is when a written case helps, and you can build yours for free further down this page.
How the Room Reads It, and What We Work On
Not Individual Failings
I see the same patterns in every industry, every kind of company, every age group and every pay grade. Women know how to communicate, negotiate and be assertive. The system reads them differently, because most of its rules were written by men, and the men deciding promotions judge leadership by the way they do it themselves.
| What she does | How the room reads it | What we work on |
|---|---|---|
| She works hard and lets the work speak for itself | The work goes unseen, or someone else presents it. | Telling the people who decide what you did and what it changed, in words you can live with. |
| She pushes back with feeling | “Emotional,” where a man would be “decisive.” | Balanced responses that keep the room on your point. |
| She stays nice with everyone, peers and bosses included | Kind, but not leadership material. | Leading your team one way and dealing with peers and bosses another, on purpose. |
| She asks for the lowest salary she would accept | She is paid less than the man next to her. | Anchoring your number on what a man at your skill level would ask for. |
| She takes the notes and clears the cups | Support staff, not a peer. | Choosing which of those jobs to hand back. |
Private Executive Coaching With Me, for Six or Twelve Months
Every engagement is one to one, with me, and it is built around your situation rather than a fixed curriculum.
Who It’s For
Senior women, from senior manager to vice president, who want the next level.
Your Coach
Cherie Silas, International Coaching Federation Master Certified Coach.
Length
Six or twelve months.
Sessions
60 minutes every two weeks, by video or in person.
Private by Default
You are billed directly, we use your personal email, and nothing goes to your boss or HR. If you want to use a company coaching benefit, ask me for a reimbursement letter.
Fee
Set out in a written proposal after our consultation. I don’t publish a price list, because the scope differs from one woman to the next.
Why it starts private
Many women pay for this themselves even when their company offers a coaching benefit. They don’t want their boss to know they are unsure of the next step, especially when the boss is the one who keeps moving the bar. That is why the engagement starts private and stays private unless you decide otherwise.
What We Work On
- Your mindset and habits. We find the beliefs and habits that hold you back, starting with the ones you learned because they used to work.
- Your promotion case. What you already do at the next level, what it changed, and who needs to hear about it before the decision is made.
- Your team versus your peers and boss. Your team needs care and support.
- Meetings. Responding decisively, making your point once and holding it, and staying balanced when someone gets under your skin, so nobody can file you under “emotional.”
- Salary. Before a salary conversation I don’t ask for the lowest number you would accept.
- Presence feedback. Turning “you need more executive presence” into something you can act on.
- Your organization, not a textbook. I often ask clients to spend a few weeks watching the leaders one or two levels above them: how they open a meeting, how they disagree, how they ask for resources.
How we work on each
Your team versus your peers and boss. Your peers and your boss respond to results, clear decisions and someone who holds her ground. Treat them all the same way and one side loses.
Salary. I ask what a man at your skill level would ask for. Then we ask for more than that, because negotiation is expected.
Presence feedback. I’ve written more about executive presence for women and the double bind behind that feedback.
Your organization, not a textbook. Then you decide which of those moves you will adopt and which you won’t.
I also give many clients the book How Women Rise by Sally Helgesen and Marshall Goldsmith. I give it to men too, because those habits aren’t only women’s.
The aim, six to twelve months in, is change that other people can see. You speak in meetings and your point stays yours. You make decisions and stand behind them. You ask for the money. And you do it as yourself, still treating your people well, because you never had to become someone else to be respected.
If you are still weighing coaching in general, Tandem’s guide to how executive coaching works covers the basics, and Tandem’s executive coaching practice also runs engagements that a company sponsors.
If your next step is the top team, read what changes in coaching for women in the C-suite. This page is for the private version: you, me and your next level.
Build your promotion case, freeStart Free: Build Your Promotion Case
If you are not ready for a consultation, start here. The Promotion Case Builder takes about ten minutes.
- What you do. You write down the next-level work you already do, what it changed and who has seen it.
- What you get. You leave with a one-page case your boss can use.
- Who sees it. What you type stays in your browser. Nothing goes to your employer.
Build my promotion case
Promotion Case Builder
Turn the work you already do into a promotion case
About ten minutes. Write down the work you already do at the next level, what it changed, who has seen it, what you have been told is missing and your ask. You get a one-page case to copy, print or email to yourself: facts your boss can use to argue for you in rooms you are not in, without you having to sell yourself.
The prompts, your case and the emailed copy are currently available in English.
How this tool works Method and limitations
This free Promotion Case Builder turns the next-level work you already do, what it changed, who has seen it, what you have been told is missing and your ask into a one-page promotion case you can copy, print or email to yourself.
Eleven prompts collect your current and target roles, up to two pieces of next-level work with their outcomes, who has seen the work, the feedback you were given and your ask with its timing. The builder lays them out as a one-page case in your browser and runs five plain checks: a second piece of evidence, a number in every outcome, someone above your boss who has seen the work, a step you are taking on the feedback, and an ask with a date. The two parts that need the most work are shown first.
The builder does not judge the quality of your work, predict a promotion or give legal or employment advice. Nothing you type leaves your browser unless you ask for the emailed copy, and that copy goes only to you.
Prefer paper?
Write five headings on one page: work I already do at the next level, what it changed, who has seen it, what I have been told is missing, and my ask. Fill each with facts, not adjectives, and put a number in every outcome.
11 prompts, about 10 minutes. No email required.
Most women find the hardest part is naming the work they already do at the next level without shrinking it. That is useful information on its own, and it is where coaching usually starts.
Twenty Years as an Equal, Then the First Man Who Talked Down to Me
For more than 20 years I was treated as an equal by the men I worked with. The first time a man talked down to me, I barely recognized it, because it had never happened to me before.
I didn’t understand what so many women were going through, because my demeanor and my presence had kept it from happening to me. That is what I teach now.
Cherie Silas
I spent 15 years leading organizations, from director to CEO. I climbed to the top, stepped down on purpose and climbed back up.
Today I am the founder and CEO of Tandem Coaching Partners, an International Coaching Federation Master Certified Coach, the federation’s highest credential, with more than 5,000 coaching hours. I’m also listed in the Women’s Impact Alliance coach directory.
A woman-owned firm. Tandem Coaching Partners, LLC is woman-owned, and I lead it.
Cherie Silas’s coach profileWhat Working With Me Feels Like
I will understand what you are dealing with, I will be on your side, and I will push you to do something different instead of waiting for the system to notice you.
Is Executive Coaching for Women Right for You?
This is for you if
- You already do work above your title.
- You are ready to change how you show up.
- You want it private: billed to you, so your boss and HR stay out of it.
- You can meet every two weeks for six or twelve months.
This is not for you if
- You want the company to change while you stay the same.
- You believe eight years in the role should earn the promotion on its own.
I can’t fix an unfair system in our sessions. I can help you change what you do inside it, and that means trying things that feel uncomfortable before they feel natural.
Build your promotion case, freeQuestions Women Ask Before They Start
What is executive coaching for women?
Executive coaching for women is private one-to-one coaching for senior women who already do next-level work and keep getting passed over for it. At Tandem it is a six- or twelve-month engagement with Cherie Silas, an International Coaching Federation Master Certified Coach, billed to you, so your boss and HR stay out of it.
Will my boss or HR know I’m working with an executive coach?
Not unless you tell them. The engagement is billed to you and we use your personal email. If you want to use a company coaching benefit, ask for a reimbursement letter and I will write one. Otherwise nothing goes to your employer.
How much does executive coaching for women cost?
The fee depends on the length and scope of the engagement, so there is no published price list. After a consultation you receive a written proposal with the scope and the fee, before anything starts.
Do I need to be an executive already?
No. Most women I coach are senior managers, directors or vice presidents working toward the next level. What matters is that you already do work above your title and you are ready to change how you show up.
Why work with a female executive coach?
Many women want a coach who has been in those rooms as a woman and knows what it takes to be heard there. I have led organizations as a director and as a CEO, so I know them from the inside. The method matters as much as the coach, though: you want someone who will name what is happening and push you to act on it.
What happens in the consultation?
We talk for 30 minutes about where you are, what you have already tried and what you want next. If coaching fits, I send a written proposal. If it doesn’t, I will tell you so.
What if ADHD is part of the picture?
The patterns on this page still apply, but the work starts in a different place. Read how ADHD coaching for women works first; it covers how ADHD shows up for women leaders at work.
Start a Six- or Twelve-Month Engagement
If you are ready to work on this for the next six to twelve months, book a 30-minute consultation with me. We will talk about where you are, what you have already tried and what you want next. If coaching fits, you receive a written proposal with the scope and the fee. Everything we discuss stays between us.
30 minutes with Cherie · Confidential · For women ready to start a six- or twelve-month engagement