DBT GIVE Skill

Learn how to keep your point without harming the relationship using DBT’s evidence-based GIVE skill for respectful, effective communication.

Worksheet · 30 min · Print-ready PDF · Free download

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Preview Worksheet · 30 min

When to Use This Tool

A client tends to win arguments but damage relationships in the process

Someone preparing for a difficult conversation where the relationship matters as much as the outcome

Working on Gentle, Interested, Validate, and Easy manner before a high-stakes interaction

How to Introduce This Tool Plus

When a conversation gets difficult, where do you typically lose the relationship...

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Coaching Tool Disclaimer

This tool is designed for coaching contexts, not clinical use. If you or your client is in crisis, contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (call or text 988) or Crisis Text Line (text HOME to 741741).

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Interactive Preview Worksheet · 30 min

Tool Classification

Domain

Relationships

Type

Worksheet

Phase

Action

Details

30 min Between sessions As-needed

Topics

Communication

For the Coaching Practitioner

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Pathway Builder 🔒

Coaching Scenarios Plus

1 Senior leader who wins the argument and loses the person

Context

A VP is technically precise and substantively correct in most disagreements but leaves conversations with damaged relationships and defensive peers. He receives consistent feedback that he is hard to disagree with, which means fewer people try. He considers his directness a feature and the relationship damage collateral.

How to Introduce

Lead with the G (Gentle) step and frame it as a strategic tool, not a softening requirement. 'Gentle in GIVE doesn't mea...

2 New manager having first difficult conversations with former peers 🔒

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4 coaching scenarios with introduction language, observation guides, debrief maps, and red flags

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For professional coaches and coaching practitioners

Tool Flow Plus

See what this tool requires and produces in a coaching engagement

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