Co-Creating the Coaching Relationship
What is co-creating the relationship in ICF?
Co-creating the relationship in ICF means partnering with the client and relevant stakeholders to create clear agreements about the coaching relationship, process, plans, and goals. The updated ICF Core Competencies Model places this under Domain B, covering three competencies: Establishes and Maintains Agreements, Cultivates Trust and Safety, and Maintains Presence.
With the release of its updated ICF Core Competencies Model, the International Coaching Federation (ICF) took a much broader view of co-creating the coaching relationship with the client. Co-creating the relationship is one of the four domains in the model, and it is the one that decides whether a coaching partnership ever gets off the ground. If you are working toward an ICF credential, this is the group of competencies an assessor listens for first — before a single powerful question is scored.
Domain B (Section B) groups the three competencies a coach needs to properly co-create the relationship with the client:
- Establishes and Maintains Agreements – partnering with the client to create clear agreements about the coaching relationship, process, plans, and goals.
- Cultivates Trust and Safety – building the safe, supportive environment where a client can do honest work.
- Maintains Presence – staying fully conscious, observant, and flexible with the client in the moment.
Establishes and Maintains Agreements
ICF Core Competencies model defines the competency of Establishes and Maintains Agreements as partnering with the client and relevant stakeholders to create clear agreements about the coaching relationship, process, plans and goals. It further expands the competency to include establishing agreements for the overall coaching engagement and those for each coaching session. In practice these are two different conversations: the relationship agreement that frames the whole engagement, and the session agreement you co-create at the start of each meeting.
This focus on the coaching relationship has been much needed, and I’m encouraged to see ICF moving in this direction as an overall focus of coach competency. My experience has been that coaching schools have not appropriately focused on the entire relationship with the coaching client, including establishing the relationship and closing the relationship. In my experience as a client I have noticed that when starting a relationship with a new coach I am often surprised to find out that the coach doesn’t start that relationship co-creating the engagement with me. Schools have focused on creating the coaching agreement in the coaching session, which is extremely important, but have often failed to equip coaches to have strong full engagements with the client by managing the expectations, understanding of coaching, and setting and managing goals and progress with the client.
To support this particular ICF Core Competency I developed a model to help me in my coaching practice called STORMMES©. This model helps the coach develop a strong relationship agreement with the client at the onset of the engage and provides a way for them to schedule regular check-ins to measure progress and adjust overarching goals. STORMMES© is an acronym that stands for the following conversations a coach and client should have when co-creating their relationship.
As with using any model, these may not be discussed in the order presented. Coaches should always be responsive to client’s needs above holding tight to using a model as presented.
- S – SUBJECT (overall focus of the coaching engagement)
- T – TIMEFRAMES (engagement length, progress checks, session length, regularity)
- O – OUTCOMES (desired outcomes of the coaching engagement- goals)
- R – ROLES (education on what to expect in the coaching process, confidentiality, ethics, responsibility for change, role of coach, role of client, preparation for sessions, reflecting after sessions, work between sessions, how to make engagement most effective, client needs, coach needs, legal terms, ending the engagement, etc.)
- M – MEASURES (how coach and client will know goals are met, milestones)
- M – MOTIVATION (why goals are relevant and the value they will bring to the life of the client, why the client is seeking coaching at this point in their life, what will happen if the client doesn’t make changes)
- E – ENVIRONMENT (what systemic factors promote and prevent success for the client, who are the stakeholders that may impact progress)
- S – START (priority of goals, where the client wants to focus first, how the client wants to begin the work of coaching)
This model can be a helpful framework to ensure that your work with the client is set up for success. I encourage you to utilize this model and adjust it to develop a stronger method of co-creating your coaching engagements.
Cultivates Trust and Safety
Agreements open the door. Trust is what keeps the client walking through it. ICF describes this competency as creating a safe, supportive environment that produces ongoing mutual respect and trust — and in real coaching it is built one session at a time, not declared in the first meeting.
A coach cultivates trust and safety by working to understand the client inside their own context: their identity, values, environment, and the way they make sense of things. That means respecting the client’s perceptions, learning style, and language even when they differ from your own, and staying genuinely curious instead of evaluative.
It also means being willing to be human in the room. Showing real concern, naming what you notice, and acknowledging the client’s feelings and hesitations builds the kind of safety where honest work happens. Coaches who stay guarded and “professional” in the distant sense usually get polite, surface-level conversations in return.
Maintains Presence
Presence is the competency assessors most often point to when they separate a PCC-level session from an ACC one. To maintain presence is to stay fully conscious and with the client — observant, curious, and flexible enough to change direction the moment the conversation does.
In a present session the coach is comfortable not knowing where things are going. You create space for silence and reflection instead of rushing to the next question, you manage your own emotions so they don’t crowd out the client’s, and you respond to what is actually in front of you rather than the plan you walked in with. This is the heart of coaching presence, and it is what makes the agreement and the trust usable: you can have a clear agreement and a safe relationship, but if you are not present, you miss the moment the client is ready to go deeper.
This article is a part of the Tandem Coaching Academy Coaching Textbook.
Read Other Posts of the ICF Core Competencies Series
ICF Core Competencies: Develop Your Coaching Presence
ICF Core Competencies: Empathy, Neutrality, and Vulnerability
ICF Core Competencies: Understand, Respect, and Acknowledge
ICF Core Competencies: Keys for a Strong Session Agreement
ICF Core Competencies: The Coaching Plan
ICF Core Competencies: Preparation and Assistance
ICF Core Competencies: Self-Awareness and Intuition
ICF Core Competencies: Managing Client Focus, Session Time, and Relationship Completion
ICF Core Competencies: Partnering With Client For Success
ICF Core Competencies: The Relationship Agreement
ICF Core Competencies: Co-Creating the Relationship
ICF Core Competencies: Cultural Awareness
ICF Core Competencies: Coaching Mindset Self-Development
ICF Core Competencies: Acknowledging Client Responsibility
ICF Core Competencies: Ethical Coaching Practices
Coaching – It’s more than just asking questions
Frequently Asked Questions
What is the difference between the relationship agreement and the session agreement?
The relationship agreement (or engagement agreement) frames the whole coaching partnership: its focus, timeframes, roles, confidentiality, how progress is measured, and how the engagement ends. The session agreement is the shorter conversation you co-create at the start of each meeting to decide what the client wants from that specific session. ICF expects a coach to establish and maintain both.
How do coaches cultivate trust and safety with a client?
By understanding the client within their own context — identity, values, and environment — and respecting their perceptions, learning style, and language. Trust grows when the coach shows genuine concern, acknowledges the client’s feelings without judgment, and stays curious rather than evaluative. It is built over time through consistency, not declared at the first session.
What does “maintains presence” mean in coaching?
Maintaining presence means staying fully conscious and observant with the client, comfortable in silence and in not knowing where the conversation is heading. A present coach manages their own emotions, creates space for reflection, and responds to what is actually happening rather than following a fixed plan. It is the competency that lets the agreement and the trust turn into real movement.
Key Takeaways
- Co-creating the relationship is ICF Domain B, and it holds three competencies working together: establishing agreements, cultivating trust and safety, and maintaining presence.
- Establishing agreements spans the full engagement, not just individual sessions — schools have undertaught this distinction.
- Trust and presence are earned over time in the room, not declared at the first meeting — a clear agreement means little without both.
- The STORMMES model gives coaches a concrete framework to co-create the relationship before the real coaching work begins — adapt it, don't follow it as a rigid script.
- Co-creating the relationship is a competency, not a formality — ICF's updated model reflects what effective coaches already know from practice.
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