DBT DEAR MAN Skill

Make clear requests or say no while preserving relationships, using the evidence-based DBT DEAR MAN communication framework.

Worksheet · 30 min · Print-ready PDF · Free download

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Preview Worksheet · 30 min

When to Use This Tool

A client needs to make a specific request or say no and wants to do it effectively

Someone preparing for a high-stakes conversation where the outcome genuinely matters

Walking through Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce before a difficult ask

How to Introduce This Tool Plus

There's a conversation you need to have where what you ask for matters — what wo...

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Coaching Tool Disclaimer

This tool is designed for coaching contexts, not clinical use. If you or your client is in crisis, contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (call or text 988) or Crisis Text Line (text HOME to 741741).

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Interactive Preview Worksheet · 30 min

Tool Classification

Domain

Relationships

Type

Worksheet

Phase

Action

Details

30 min Mid session As-needed

Topics

Communication

For the Coaching Practitioner

Plus

Pathway Builder 🔒

Coaching Scenarios Plus

1 Manager who hints instead of asking and then resents the outcome

Context

A senior manager regularly signals what he wants in meetings through leading questions and indirect comments, then expresses frustration when others don't respond as he hoped. He describes himself as direct but his team and peers experience him as unclear.

How to Introduce

Frame the worksheet as a delivery problem, not a communication style overhaul. 'You know what you want — the worksheet h...

2 Leader who goes emotionally hard in conflict and loses the outcome 🔒

🔒

4 coaching scenarios with introduction language, observation guides, debrief maps, and red flags

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For professional coaches and coaching practitioners

Tool Flow Plus

See what this tool requires and produces in a coaching engagement

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