Shame-to-Compassion
Worksheet

ADHD Executive Function Tools

A structured approach to examining shame responses
and building self-compassion

Where This Tool Helps

Shame moves fast in an ADHD brain. An event happens, the feeling lands, and within seconds the internal narrative has already written a verdict: you should have known better, you always do this, something is wrong with you. The speed of that sequence is the problem. There is no pause between the feeling and the conclusion, so the conclusion feels like a fact.

This worksheet slows the sequence down. It breaks a single shame response into six parts and lays them out where you can see them separately. Most people find that the thoughts driving their reaction are not as solid as they felt in the moment. The evidence boxes at the bottom are where that becomes visible.

The steps below walk you through each box in order, with one rule: do not skip ahead to the evidence section before completing the first four.

How to Use This Worksheet

  1. Start with a specific event. A missed deadline, a social misstep, a moment where shame showed up. Write what happened in factual terms only.
  2. Name the feelings before the thoughts. Most people jump straight to what they were telling themselves. The feelings box asks you to stay with the emotion for a moment before the narrative takes over.
  3. Write the thoughts exactly as they appeared. Do not clean them up or make them more reasonable. The point is to capture what your mind actually said, not what you wish it had said.
  4. Record the behavior. What did you do in response? Withdraw, overcompensate, shut down, lash out? This is observation, not judgment.
  5. Work both evidence boxes. "Supportive evidence" asks why the thought might be true. "Non-supportive evidence" asks why it might not be. Most people fill one side easily and struggle with the other. The side you struggle with is carrying the information you need.
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Shame-to-Compassion Worksheet

Event
What happened?
Feelings
How did it make me feel?
Thoughts
What was I telling myself?
Behaviour
What was my response to the situation? How did I react?
Supportive Evidence
Why is my thought true?
Non-supportive Evidence
Why might my thought not be true?
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Before Your Next Session

The worksheet separates one shame response into its component parts. The next step is looking at what the parts reveal together.

Look at your two evidence columns side by side. Which side filled up faster? Which side required more effort?

If the same thought pattern appears across multiple uses of this worksheet, that is worth bringing to your next coaching session. Not the event, not the feeling, but the pattern in the thought.

Reflections & Observations
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