Relationship
Quality
Assessment

COMMUNICATION & RELATIONSHIPS TOOLS

See where your most important relationships are strong,
where they are thin, and where one investment
would make the biggest difference.

Where This Tool Helps

Leaders regularly audit their finances, their teams, and their strategies. Relationships - which underpin almost everything else - rarely get the same deliberate attention. Not because they are less important, but because the problems develop slowly and the costs are diffuse. A relationship that erodes over two years rarely announces itself as a problem until it becomes one.

This assessment targets a specific blind spot: the gap between relationships that feel fine and relationships that are genuinely working. "Fine" usually means there is no active conflict and contact is maintained. That is a low bar for the relationships that most directly shape your leadership effectiveness, your decision quality, and your ability to move through difficulty.

The five dimensions - trust, communication, reciprocity, presence, and growth - are not independent. Low trust tends to compress communication. Poor reciprocity tends to erode presence. The rating table makes those connections visible in a way that general reflection usually does not.

Most people find that one or two dimensions score consistently low across their most important relationships. That pattern is more informative than any single rating.

How to Use This Assessment

  1. Choose the relationships that matter most, not the ones that are easiest to rate. Include at least one that you find complicated or that you have been avoiding thinking about.
  2. Rate each dimension independently before looking at totals. The overall score matters less than the shape of each row - specifically, the gap between your highest and lowest ratings for a single relationship.
  3. Work through the pattern questions. The questions are designed to surface what the numbers alone do not show: which relationships have the most unevenness, and whether any single dimension is consistently weak.
  4. Write one concrete action per low-scoring relationship. An action - specific, completable in the next two weeks. "Schedule a one-on-one outside of our usual work context" is an action. "Invest more in this relationship" is not.
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Rate Your Key Relationships

List 5-7 key relationships. Rate each dimension from 1 (needs significant attention) to 10 (consistently strong). Add an Overall score.

Relationship / Person Trust Comm. Reciprocity Presence Growth Overall
1.            
2.            
3.            
4.            
5.            
6.            
7.            
Dimension Guide
Trust: Do you feel safe being honest? Do they follow through?
Communication: Can you speak openly? Are difficult topics accessible?
Reciprocity: Does support flow both ways? Is the relationship balanced?
Presence: Are you genuinely present together, or mostly going through the motions?
Growth: Does this relationship support who you are becoming?
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Patterns & Action Steps

Patterns

Which relationships scored highest overall?

Which relationships show the largest gap between dimensions (strong in some, weak in others)?

Which dimension scored lowest across most relationships?

What pattern do you notice?

Action Steps

For your one or two lowest-scoring or most uneven relationships, write one concrete action:

Relationship:

Action I will take:

By (date):

Relationship:

Action I will take:

By (date):

REFLECTION PROMPT

Look at the relationship with the largest gap between dimensions - strong in some, weak in others. What would it take to have a direct conversation about the dimension that is weakest? What is in the way of that conversation happening?

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