Feedback
Reflection
Worksheet

COMMUNICATION & RELATIONSHIPS TOOLS

Move from initial reaction to considered response -
and identify what the feedback is actually telling you.

Where This Tool Helps

Feedback lands differently depending on the source, the timing, and what it touches. The instinct to dismiss or defend is almost universal - not a character flaw, but a predictable response to information that challenges how we see ourselves. The problem is that both reactions - dismissal and defensiveness - short-circuit the reflection that makes feedback useful.

Most leaders are better at processing positive feedback than critical feedback. They also tend to process feedback about behaviors more readily than feedback about patterns, because patterns imply something more fundamental than a one-time misstep. When feedback triggers a strong reaction, that reaction is usually pointing at something worth examining - either because the feedback is accurate and uncomfortable, or because it is inaccurate and has arrived in a context that makes it feel threatening.

This worksheet slows that reaction down. The sequence - capture, examine the reaction, assess accuracy, look for patterns - is designed to separate the emotional heat from the informational content. You do not have to agree with the feedback to learn something from it.

How to Use This Worksheet

  1. Capture the feedback as precisely as you can. Quote the person if possible. The more specific the record, the less distortion gets introduced in the reflection step. "They said I don't listen when I disagree" is more useful than "they said I was difficult."
  2. Name your reaction before analyzing accuracy. What happened in you when you heard it? Name it before moving past it. Skipping this step means the reaction operates below the surface and contaminates the analysis anyway.
  3. Look for evidence on both sides. The accuracy assessment is not about deciding whether the feedback giver was right. It is about identifying what is useful. Even partially inaccurate feedback often contains a signal worth extracting.
  4. Check for patterns. Feedback that arrives once might be situational. Feedback that arrives repeatedly from different sources is not.
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Feedback Received

Capture
Source (who gave the feedback)
Context (when / where / how)

The feedback (quote directly if possible):

My Initial Reaction

My immediate response was:

I was inclined to:

Dismiss it
Defend against it
Accept it
Sit with it

What was driving that response?

Accuracy Assessment

On reflection, how accurate is this feedback?

1
2
3
4
5
1 = not at all accurate    5 = exactly right
2

Evidence & Pattern Check

Evidence

Evidence that supports the feedback:

Evidence that complicates or contradicts it:

Pattern Check

Have I received similar feedback before?

Yes
No
Something similar

If yes - from whom, and when?

What might this feedback reveal about a pattern, not just a moment?

One Action Step

Based on this reflection, one thing I will do differently:

By (date):

REFLECTION PROMPT

Look at your pattern check. If this feedback points to something recurring - what would it cost you to treat it as data rather than judgment? What is the most useful thing it might be telling you about how you are showing up?

3

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