DBT Emotion
Regulation
Check-In
THERAPEUTIC SUPPORT TOOLS
A structured process for understanding what you are feeling
and choosing a deliberate response
THERAPEUTIC SUPPORT TOOLS
A structured process for understanding what you are feeling
and choosing a deliberate response
Emotion regulation is not about feeling less. It is about understanding what an emotion is telling you and choosing how to respond to it - rather than having the emotion choose for you.
Most people complete this kind of check-in too late. By the time they reflect on a situation, the emotional intensity has already dropped and the pattern is harder to see clearly. The value of this tool is in catching the emotion while it is still present: identifying it, rating its intensity, checking what is making you vulnerable to it, and then selecting a skill from a specific tier based on that intensity reading.
An intensity rating can help describe the moment, but it does not determine which response is safe or effective. Treat the options below as reflection prompts, not a clinical decision tree. If distress is severe, persistent, or involves safety concerns, pause the worksheet and use qualified or crisis support.
This coaching reflection tool is not therapy, diagnosis, or medical care. Do not use it to diagnose or treat a condition. Use a licensed health professional for symptoms or clinical decisions. For immediate danger, contact emergency services; in the United States, call or text 988, and elsewhere use the local crisis service.
Check anything present today:
Vulnerability count: of 9 — Do not calculate a cutoff; use the checked items as context.
Find your primary emotion. The opposite action is the regulated alternative to what the emotion urges.
| If I feel... | And I want to... | Instead I can... |
|---|---|---|
| Fear | Avoid or escape | Approach what I fear; do the thing |
| Anger | Attack or argue | Take a gentle approach; do something kind |
| Sadness | Withdraw, isolate | Get active; reach out to someone |
| Shame | Hide, avoid others | Share with one trusted person |
| Guilt | Repeat the behavior | Repair, apologize, change |
| Jealousy | Protect or monitor | Let go; trust |
| Love | Pursue or contact | Let the feeling pass if acting would cause harm |
| Anxiety | Worry, plan, ruminate | Focus on what is present and controllable |
Intensity does not prescribe a technique. Note what you are experiencing, what has helped safely before, and whether qualified support is needed.
Notice any change without treating the number as a validated outcome.
Look at the vulnerability factors alongside your emotion notes. What context seems relevant without treating the checklist as a score?
Which emotion on the Opposite Action table was hardest to find a regulated response for? What makes that one more difficult?
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