THERAPEUTIC SUPPORT TOOLS
A structured process for understanding what you are feeling
and choosing a deliberate response
Emotion regulation is not about feeling less. It is about understanding what an emotion is telling you and choosing how to respond to it - rather than having the emotion choose for you.
Most people complete this kind of check-in too late. By the time they reflect on a situation, the emotional intensity has already dropped and the pattern is harder to see clearly. The value of this tool is in catching the emotion while it is still present: identifying it, rating its intensity, checking what is making you vulnerable to it, and then selecting a skill from a specific tier based on that intensity reading.
The skill tier matters. At low intensity, mindfulness is sufficient. At moderate intensity, Opposite Action or fact-checking becomes relevant. At high intensity, the TIPP skills need to come first - because cognitive strategies are less accessible when the nervous system is highly activated. The decision tree in this form is not decorative. It routes you to what will actually work at your current state.
Check anything present today:
Vulnerability count: of 9 — A score of 3 or more means your emotional system is working harder than usual.
Find your primary emotion. The opposite action is the regulated alternative to what the emotion urges.
| If I feel... | And I want to... | Instead I can... |
|---|---|---|
| Fear | Avoid or escape | Approach what I fear; do the thing |
| Anger | Attack or argue | Take a gentle approach; do something kind |
| Sadness | Withdraw, isolate | Get active; reach out to someone |
| Shame | Hide, avoid others | Share with one trusted person |
| Guilt | Repeat the behavior | Repair, apologize, change |
| Jealousy | Protect or monitor | Let go; trust |
| Love | Pursue or contact | Let the feeling pass if acting would cause harm |
| Anxiety | Worry, plan, ruminate | Focus on what is present and controllable |
Compare to your earlier rating. A 1-3 point drop is a meaningful shift.
Look at your vulnerability score alongside your emotion intensity. Do high-vulnerability days tend to produce higher-intensity reactions to situations that would normally be manageable?
Which emotion on the Opposite Action table was hardest to find a regulated response for? What makes that one more difficult?
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